2011-03-01

Totally in no way inspired by real events last night during the fifth dance

Set dancing is commonly known by another title --social dancing. This is because it's almost always a very social event, one where you get to interact with many different people over the course of each dance. There are great advantages to dancing in multitude like this. Non-active dancers can help lead less experienced dancers, or detangle knots. Multiple people are trying to remember the sequence, and can guide each other if someone forgets. And of course, every dance, you not only get to interact with one partner, but with multiple other couples --from your standard eight people in a square, to the thirty couples or more at a big enough contra.

However, there is one significant disadvantage to social dancing, that doesn't really come into play with any other type of dance. Once you commit to a set in a social dance, you're stuck. You _must_ dance, or attempt to dance, the entire rest of the sequence. If you quit halfway through, you have not just stopped your dance --you have stopped the dance of everyone else as well.

Now, I'm not saying if you suddenly injure yourself, or feel faint, or otherwise have to pull out halfway through for medical reasons, you shouldn't. Persevering against all better instincts is for fools, especially when a medical emergency is on the line --please protect yourself so that you can come back and dance another day. But try to be aware of your body. If you're likely to become exhausted, sit out a round --there's no shame in it-- or if you're truly unsure whether or not you'll be able to complete a dance, find a friend who's not dancing who is willing to step in for you.

But don't just quit. Even if the dance is difficult, ill-taught, frustrating, even if your set has fallen to pieces 'round your ears. Much of set dancing repeats itself --reset yourself in the position you need to be at the end of the phrase, or the time through, and get ready to try again. If you're too petulant to reset, too annoyed to try again, then for lands sakes, at least get out of the way. Unless all eight+ people involved have agreed that the dance has become undoable, you will be impeding someone else's ability to dance if you stand in the middle of the floor, or remain at the top of the set and refuse to let others go.

Also, should you reach such a state of irritability that you refuse to go on, please find it in your heart to apologize to the rest of your set. They were depending on you in order to fully enjoy this dance, it's boorish not to acknowledge that fact. The least you can do is say you're sorry.

Lest they carefully and specifically mark you in their mind as someone to never share a set with again.

(As a postscript, I feel I should note that I am in no way referring to the knots that can occur when very new dancers are being thrown into a set dance with little or no previous training. New dancers mess up. They're inexperienced, it happened, dust off, back to places, and try again. My anger is only directed to when someone -of any dance level- consciously makes the decision that they are no longer willing to participate in this dance, and so ruin the rest of the dance for people who needed them present.)

6 comments:

Buddha Buck said...

Is it permissible, in a progressive dance for all who will (like contra) for a couple who is "out" at the end of a line to take their leave?

Anonymous said...

@Blaise
Sometimes? If it's a triple minor dance (almost exclusively occur in ECD, but there are some in contra), it's really pretty crappy, because it means whomever you're out with at the bottom would need to wait extra turns to get back in. But I think it's slightly better than walking out of a set.

Unknown said...

@mogwit:whomever you're out with? I"m thinking of how the couple at the bottom isn't doing anything; wouldn't it just mean the couple ahead falls off one iteration early?

From the other side, I keep making the mistake of showing up at regency-type dances at cons before I've gotten the "must run around and check stuff out" out of my head. When one walk through was around 45 min of repeating figures out of order (and evidently quite confusingly explained) in order to do a 5 min dance I was ready to chew my own arm off, but couldn't leave b/c of course I would leave the other 7 people in my set hanging.

Anonymous said...

I had actually been considering the stopping-for-medical-reasons issue earlier and come to the exact conclusion you mentioned. If I can feel the beginnings of a dizzy spell but don't want to sit out a class tip at squares, I should first look around and find a nearby club member sitting out, asking them if they would be willing to step in should I be unable to complete the tip. Otherwise, I'll sit out and watch.

Usually I'm alright even with mild lightheadedness, but last night I had a split second of severe dizziness and a high five went slightly astray, leading me to make repeated fervent apologies to my partner. Hitting people is NOT included in any calls.

(I woke today with a migraine, so at least now I know that the worsening dizziness was the precursor to something and not a circumstance likely to recur frequently.)

Anonymous said...

@val - oops - I was thinking of the couple who sometimes thinks they're out when they're actually not yet. You're totally right.

Katarina Whimsy said...

@Blaise: Oops, I meant to add that. That's completely fine. Just (if you can) make sure the next couple knows they're going to be out more suddenly than they previously thought.

@val: I will at some point write something about doing Regency dancing at cons, versus doing it at anywhere with actual dancers. You're good enough that I recommend never doing it at a con if you can get away with it, because they will often be like that.

@Tric: I'm sorry you have a migraine! But good on you for thinking of ways to take care of yourself. Please no fainting in the middle of a dance, that would be super bad!